You don’t have to look hard to find lots of stories on the web about people trying to scare Jehovah’s Witnesses away so the Witnesses won’t come knocking again. One classic example is the guy who greets them dressed as a Satanist. Another is the guy carrying a scary animal that’s supposed to freak out visiting Witnesses. Kyria Abrahams described such an experience in her book, I’m Perfect, You’re Doomed: Tales of a Jehovah’s Witness Upbringing. Note that in Kyria’s book, the Witness who knocked on the snake owner’s door didn’t run away. She merely asked if she could pet the snake and make nice with it, much to the householder’s disappointment.
Tricks like these usually don’t work. Aside from the fact that they’re really obvious attempts to scare Jehovah’s Witnesses away, they also present Witnesses with a challenge to their faith that must be accepted and conquered. If the Witness fails to meet the challenge, then he is putting his fear ahead of his faith, which just won’t cut it in his world. Like many evangelists, most Witnesses relish the thought of proving their loyalty to God and will do so with gusto if given the chance. That’s exactly what stunts like these help them do.
Many people – including many former Jehovah’s Witnesses – think that all you have to do is tell a Witness you’re an apostate and the Witness will magically vanish in a puff of smoke and tears. I have met a few Witnesses who are paranoid enough to simply run away at the words, “I’m an apostate,” but in many cases, it won’t be that simple. Darn it all. In fact, you’re just as likely to get a visit from the elders as you are to run them away for good if you try that one.
Most congregations won’t let you get away with the old “put me on your Do Not Call List” line, either. You can try it (it’s on the list below) but many congregations won’t let you off the hook that easily.
So what can you do? Here are a few things you can try that might stop them from knocking on your door forever…or at least for a little while.